This guy took a trip to Decathlon a week before pre-season looking to find some naughty new boots. When he saw them, they stood out to him unlike the red and green ones. He said to himself “I’d flatten anyone who wore red boots”. So, there he was looking at these ‘beasts’ like he’d just seen a beautiful girl on the dancefloor. He tried them on…Cinderella-like fit. He turned up to pre-season the next Tuesday and realised he’d made an awful decision. Good for scrummaging though.
Every rugby player knows that Hookers fancy themselves. They always say at the end of every season that they are going to buy some flash boots and you know what, they seem to go for the most awful flash boots out there.
The prop that thinks he’s a 10 in a parallel universe. The player that when he finds himself in the backline, he will throw an outrageous dummy or put a grubber kick in and everyone on the touchline will laugh. Well, in his mind, if he wears these boots, he will be invisible in the backline
- Second Row
The type of player that will scan the price list and just go with the cheapest boots with a logo on them. “Ah it’s Puma, they must be good boots”. These boots will be worn for the next 5 years, until… on a cold and wet Thursday evening they give up on him at training and he has to train in his socks.
- Second Row
This second row is always scanning the Lovell Rugby sale just in case there is a deal worth snapping up. BOOM! He’s found last season’s boots for half price – call him the deal snatcher and he’ll take them in white cos he went to the gym last week and felt a bit faster than usual.
This player thinks he can’t get flash boots because everyone will laugh at him, but this time round he’s gone all out and got a little bit of yellow! Jheez, completely going against his rule of all black!
Yes, these boots have already featured. This guy turns up to training and sees the prop pull out the same boots as him. SHIT! I’ve bought the same boots as a bloody prop, I’m going to get some stick here. Find the receipt!!
- Number 8
The Number 8 is the only one in the back row who seems to get away with having flash boots. This is the sort of player however, who is on an odd cycle which means they get their boots as a Christmas present, unlike the others who must have new boots by pre-season. Therefore, this player gets the best half price boots they can find. Number 8’s have a think for yellow too – I’ve noticed!
- Scrum Half
This guy is the gobby Danny Care of the team that loves to talk about boots. This is the guy that everybody comes to for boot advice. The guy that knows every single boot out there. He’s the guy that will come up to you in the warm up and say “you need a new pair of boots mate” and give you options on what to buy.
- Fly Half
Easiest decision to make. Every 10 has had a pair of these.
This guy actually plays football, so these boots are for playing football in, but when he’s running in the tries (if he catches the ball) they make him look about 10 times faster.
- Inside Centre
The inside centre has a solid boot choice. Medium price, medium flashness, medium pace. Everything is medium, possibly hence the name – centre – right down the middle.
- Outside Centre
You’ll always get the one player in the backs who thinks they are being totally retro by choosing a pair of black boots.
The player everybody wants to crunch…even his own team mates. “Why have you bought them mate?” just echoes around the changing room.
- Full Back
The Full back will need to stay flash to compete with his back 3. He will never compete with his wingers but he needs to stay in the competition.